The Rebirth

I reconnected with old friends after moving back to Colchester and being within miles of friends and family again. One of them being Justin. We started catching up, we were both going through literal hell, and both needed someone at that point in our lives.

He drove me to my 2 week check up after the abortion and watched Weston for me in his car in the Planned Parenthood parking lot. I remember going back to the apartment and laying on the living room floor, glad that I was able to move on from the things I had just endured and ready to figure out what I wanted and needed in life.

We were joking around, bullshitting like usual when we brought up Tinder. He started showing me some of the women showing up on his feed.

If you were single in 2015, you know Tinder was THE APP. I downloaded it and made a profile. It couldn't hurt to gauge what the dating pool was like after not being single as an adult.

Initially, it was all for jokes. I had just gotten out of a 2 year long relationship. I had just had one of the most traumatizing things of my life happen. I was dealing with learning how to balance the co-parenting relationship, looking for a job, studying for my permit test. I had NO BUSINESS trying to date at that point.

So there we were, laid on the living room floor because the furniture hadn't been delivered yet, when as I was swiping, I came across Josh, 24 from Lebanon. He looked so familiar... and that's when it clicked.

"Hey, isn't this your brother?" I said to Justin.

"Yep, that's him."

"He's kinda cute..." I said as I swiped through his pictures, and looked specifically at one of him holding a sweet little husky puppy making a goofy face.

"Yeah good luck, he's an asshole", Justin laughed.

I laughed too and said, "Perfect, just my type."

I swiped right.

It was a match.

The next morning I woke up with a notification.

A message from Josh, 24.

"Hey beautiful".

---

Josh and I started dating. I got a job and license. Mama bought me my first car, a $4000 2006 Ford Focus.

I accomplished more in 5 months than I did in the previous 5 years being out of the horrible environments I had been in.

I was actually living.

---

Andddd the rest is history.

Maybe in 10 years Josh and I will release a joint story time on the trials and tribulations we put each other through to get to 10+ years together. (KIDDING...maybe. If we do that we're monetizing it because LORDDD.)

It isn't the perfect romantic fairytale by any means.

It was real.

It was raw.

It was toxic.

It was betrayal, from both of us.

It was healing from past traumas.

It was hard fucking work.

But we always love each other. We always lean on each other. We admit when we're wrong and take accountability for our mistakes. We don't take things personally anymore. We communicate.

It was both of us in tears for hours some nights. It was arguments. It was questioning if our marriage was worth it.

And our answers were always yes.

---

The last 10 years since that period of my life ended, it hasn't been complete smooth sailing. And I'd be lying if I even tried to say that. Because life is HARD.

Comically speaking, my life could be a movie.

But I'm here, breathing, telling you my story.

And that in itself is a win.

Because if you asked teenage Ashley where she thought she would be at 29 years old, she would never guess in a million years the beautiful life she made for herself.